Living on the Edge

September 16, 2015

Today I may, today I might, right now I may, right now I might…

I have been pondering this thought for many years – a part that keeps re-circling in my mind as well as externally in my life.

Living on the edge, a paradigm of being. A risk taking, adventurous life, a one with uncertainty and true flight. Letting go of all that is not ture for this next shift upwards.

A new life, a new day, a new moment to cast us away.

Bodhidharma was a radical, a rebel, a revolutionary who spoke, as others do, about societies ways of control.

We are born into society, and its job or aim is to control will. When we are born we are born with freedom and individuality in our hearts. We are free and have our unique will intact.

As I get older I notice the upswings and many down swings I have had in my life. I have felt like an utter disappointment to my family, a let down to friends, and employers. However, I was not living in my truth, though at those times I fought. I fought hard to keep my life together, to keep momentum growing, to keep learning and challenging myself to not only understand this path I was told to undertake, but also to understand – and not blame – that the path I took – I took from a fearful place.

I took a path for of least possible ‘what ifs’ in life, though still adventurous and still challenging and creative and worldly, I still act out and perform and change and grow and learn and ….well to many and(s) to mention them all possibly.

What I am saying here is that my world for 15 years has been dictated by that of what my past work experiences, education and what others have pinned me as.

Lately, I have confused many of you who are friends, family, colleagues and lovers of light all over this world.

Honestly, you have been confused because I have been confused. I have been working experimenting on myself for years and probably will continue to…always to push me, my ‘boundaries’, my team, my support, people I touch and who touch me, and all the people in between who never knew me and I never knew them.

I may be confused on what ‘one’ thing I need to focus on, or “BE” to the outside world, but in my world I see myself as one being who is to be in this world all that she can be….in totale and in full form. In grace and in pure light. In truth and in commitment. In integrity to all of who I am and not splitting myself into a particular person – so that you can like me.

Like me or not, be around me or not, support me or not…I support all I feel is true. I support those in need. I support you and your dream. The outrageous and the courageous to be all of who you are in every moment, in every way, every day of our lives.

We got this one life, right?

Why not be complete?

Why not fulfill ourselves to the brim with all the ______ that bring our inner light out from our hearts?

Why not be the change in the world, as individuals, as one, as unique, as authentic, as spacially different from one another but realistically all mirrors in reflection of everything we love and hate – in ourselves – acknowledging the true abundance that we are – that we all are – as light in our hearts – sometimes covered too much with the wrapping of clouds over our minds, our hearts, and all other body parts.

Why not just say ok…I am all of me today and in this moment….this _____ makes me happy or not.

I am not a provider of happy quotes and be happy all the time and you must be a certain way…its a struggle for all of us to continue this journey and keep ourselves in alignment with our highest happiest selves…but it is my mission in my own life to be happy and healthy and to keep my life abundant in joy…

I began this journey at 19, there have been so many trials and loves, and now in another huge moment of transition – I write. I write because there is no box in which my creativity can be stifled or in budget or controlled.

I write today to start a pathway through all the sensations I feel, the world I perceive, and the truth I am finding.

Take a step with me into center of who ‘we’ are.

Walk IN Shadow & Follow Your Light

Love,
Ash

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